You. Are. Worthy.
Imagine this... a perfect Valentine's Day - full of love and joy and many unexpected surprises. Then, imagine this... cuddling up next to your husband at the end of the night, starting a "deep conversation" at 1am with a question about why he did so much - or too much - to make your day special. See, this was me... last night. Lying in bed, next to the love of my life, feeling as though I didn't deserve what he had done to lavish his love on little 'ole me.
Yes, I consider myself a good wife, always sacrificing to make sure my husband's weight is a little lighter. I push and press and go the extra mile, hardly ever stopping to think about myself. But, you see, it's different when it's me making the sacrifices. I can control that. I can be in charge of how far and to what extent. I can be the "sacrificer" and find no problem in doing so. I think my husband is worthy. No, I take that back... I KNOW my husband is worthy of the sacrifices I make, and I know that I am capable of doing it. But, somehow, some way, an unhealthy view of my own worthiness has crept into my way of normal life.
Keep following me on this journey. 6am workout class - please don't do the math (my husband calls me a robot because that 4 hours of sleep I got was more than enough). I was working out - pressing into some long string of core exercises, and I literally heard the HOLY SPIRIT say, "you are worthy". Huh? I hadn't considered my thoughts and feelings from last night as my unworthiness, I had thought that I was being humble or comparing my own gifts to what I had received. So, He repeated Himself, "You. Are. Worthy."
Wait. What, God? Are you talking about last night? I immediately felt convicted. Not only because of what had happened as I laid next to my husband just a few hours earlier, but because I had unknowingly been living at a lower, less fulfilled capacity because I did not feel worthy. No, I do not go around sulking in a lowly place or making excuses for why I can't do a certain thing, but some implant has inserted itself into my life and caused me to not feel adequate enough to do or receive what has been brought to me to live out! In those moments, surrounded by the early-rising men and women in my workout class, God spoke to me in ways that only the conviction of the Holy Ghost could.
What He was really saying to me transcended my mere "humility" with which I first asked my husband why he had done so much for me. (Or, let's just be honest - why did he show up my gifts by getting me more than I had given him?) It went deeper than my self-esteem and how I do or do not feel about myself. It searched more than just my surface answer of, "yes, of course I know I'm worthy!" To a place where He (the Holy Spirit) only knew and a place that, in all honesty, I had never even addressed. That place - that deep, inner place - is the place that He desired to bring wholeness within me in order to manifest the gifts that He had placed on the inside of me before the world even began. The same question I innocently (for the most part) asked my husband was the same question that my life had been asking God - why did you give me so much?! And, the answer to that question, to a heart that is not ready or open to use the gifts, is a stale, cold, go-through-the-motions response... while, all the while, the lover of your soul is waiting and watching and saying from the depths of His heart to yours - "it's because you are worthy!"
2 Thessalonians 1:11-12 (NLT) tell us, "So we keep on praying for you, asking our God to enable you to live a life worthy of his call. May he give you the power to accomplish all the good things your faith prompts you to do. Then the name of our Lord Jesus will be honored because of the way you live, and you will be honored along with him. This is all made possible because of the grace of our God and Lord, Jesus Christ."
God is at work continually in our lives to perfect a finished work of making us worthy. On our own, independent of Him, we are stained, irreparably flawed, and, even on our best day, far beneath a second glance from the Creator of the Universe. Yet, from the start of Creation, He birthed a plan to reconcile the filthy rags, which were our lives, to His loving kindness, which has endless goodness for our lives. That goodness is shown by gifts that He chooses to give us - something to help move His agenda along in the earth and to inspire power and victory in someone else's journey of being made whole. Whoa, whoa... so God has taken the time to cleanse us, just so that He can give us gifts, just so we can give the fruit of those gifts back to him? Yes, that's exactly it. He makes us worthy so that we can be free to serve Him better!
The trick of the enemy is to make you feel that you are not worthy of the gifts. Often, under the guise of humility, or "waiting to hear more from God", or needing to offer more , know more, or have more on your own, or whatever other thing may make you miss the gifts God has given, we fail to seize the divine opportunity to tap into an appreciation for the gifts God has given. And, what God really wants is for us to take hold of the gifts - utilize them - and bring more Glory to Him!
Now is the time. This is the season. And, my friend - YOU. ARE. WORTHY!!! Embrace it all and watch God manifest more than you could have ever imagined!